Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Beaver Brawl



Let's just get this out of the way. By now, the whole nation knows the Penn State football team will be picking up plenty of sacks this upcoming season - sacks of trash, that is. And it's useless to beat a dead horse, but what better time to start a blog than with the customary "Wow! You fellas really messed up a potential championship season."

After weathering the storm of four senior starters graduating following the 2005 championship season, things were looking up, up, and away for the 2007 defensive backfield. Justin King, Tony Davis, AJ Wallace and [now, resident moron] Anthony Scirrotto were slated to return and continue to lock down play-making receivers and torment the best passing games in college football.

Then, in a flash of brilliance, Scirrotto decided to teach those kids a lesson, rather than just tell them off and move on to the next party. Yes, not only did he feel it was necessary to pursue the issue - the scum-bag victims said "eww" when Scirrotto's girlfriend spit on the ground on E. College Ave. - and provoke a confrontation, he proceeded to call in the cavalry, and the infantry, artillery, patriot missiles, nuclear warheads, and... well, you get the picture. Some estimates have as many as 30-40 Nittany Lions showing upon Scirrotto's summoning, with plans to bash in the heads of those whining, little Meridian-party-goers.

Alright, so not all of them were there to fight. Actually, I would be many were there to extinguish the powder keg, but what's done is done and the Penn State football nation can only hope the rising-junior safety, who led the Big Ten in interceptions with six, is not kicked off the team entirely. Scirrotto and Chris Baker both face a trial, with charges dropped against King and others.

I can only imagine what those kids are going through right now. No, not the football players. Believe it or not, the accusers. They better not expect to get a warm reception at any class or party, never mind once football season rolls around in two months. I know I wouldn't want to be them.

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